Stupid Insults

~calls to get your phone number

~spends 20 minutes looking at the orange juice box because it says "concentrate"

~puts lipstick on her forehead so she can make up her mind

~tries to put M&M's in alphabetical order

~sends a fax with a stamp on it

~tries to drown a fish (have you ever read the story "The Fools of Chelm and the Stupid Carp? you should. it's hilarious.)

~thinks a quarterback is a refund

~gets locked in a grocery store and starves to death

~trips over a cordless phone

~takes a ruler to bed to see how long they slept

~asks for a price check at the Dollar Store

~studies for a blood test

~thinks Meow Mix is a CD for cats

~takes the bus 22 twice when they miss bus 44

~not the sharpest pencil in the pack

~a box of crackerjacks with no prize

~a few bricks short of a load

~'bout as sharp as a marble

~uses white-out to make corrections on a computer screen

~returns the bag of M&M's because it was full of W's

~took the pepsi challenge and chose Jiffy

~looks up 9-1-1 in a phone book

~can't eat pickles 'cuz their head won't fit in the jar

~thinks 'nuclear fission' needs a special bait

~I wish I had a blueprint for their brain...I'm trying to build an idiot

~dumber than a box of hair

~an experiment for Artificial Stupidity

~couldn't pour water out of a boot with instructions on the heel

~an intellect rivaled only by garden tools

~chimney's clogged

~forgot to pay the brain bill

~slinkey's kinked

~surfing in Nebraska

~lights are on, nobody's home

~fell out of the family tree

~give a penny for their thoughts, you get change back

~needs more specific directions to turn left

~photographic memory, forgot to load the film

~so dense, light bends around them

~remembered to pour to milk but forgot the cereal. And the bowl.

~missing a few pages in their brain manuel

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